The words "love" and "harassment" became almost synonyms for her. When she was 6 years old she became a ‘lover’ for her father who was trying to convince her that all fathers loved their daughters this way. Is it possible to forgive your father for doing this? Being a student at school she would make a star in her diary every time she had sex. Hundreds of men, alcohol, drugs and suicide attempts. Has Julia been able to break through this vicious circle?
Schoolgirl Julie Woodley drew an asterisk in her diary every time she had sex. She craved the wrong kind of attention from men, the kind she first received from her father: “When he raped me, he threatened me with a gun. He said he would kill me if I told anyone.”
Julie Woodley grew up in the picturesque mountains, but her life could not be called calm. When the girl was six years old, her father began to seduce her. He said that this is how all dads show love to their daughters.
It mostly happened when Julie's mom wasn't home: "Whenever Mom was about to leave, I knew I was going to have to endure something terrible again."
Julie endured sexual abuse for many years, so the words “love” and “abuse” became almost synonymous for her: “Father only then told me that he loved me. I was completely confused and thought that this is how fatherly love manifests itself. I myself already wanted him to have sex with me, that is, love me, because I was so thirsty for love.
In high school, Julie decided that her mental pain could drown out alcohol and drugs. But she never knew what it meant to be loved.
“I had a very active sex life, wanting to be hugged and loved by men. Every time I had sex, I marked it in my diary with an asterisk,” says the woman.
At the age of seventeen, Julie became pregnant from one of her acquaintances. Her parents sent her for an abortion. She still remembers how hurt she was: “I felt like a rejected rag doll. My parents didn’t even care how much suffering I experienced.”
After the abortion, Julie's father became even more cruel to his daughter and once almost killed her: “Father grabbed me at the door and dragged me to the fireplace. Then he began to beat my head against the fireplace. Mom was there and saw everything. Before passing out, I heard her say, "Be careful not to kill her." She didn't say that because she wanted to save my life or loved me, but because she didn't want anyone to know that her husband killed his daughter. So in our family we valued our reputation.”
Julie ran away to a friend, and the day after graduation from school she bought a ticket and left her hometown and from her parents, whom she did not see for the next seventeen years. The girl began to earn a living by prostitution: “I did not have the courage to ask men for money. I sold myself for a lodging for the night, for any temporary housing, passing from one man to another.
One day, Julie was informed by phone about the murder of her friend. She decided to get drunk for the last time, after which she committed suicide.
In the medicine cabinet, she saved a bottle of special pills in case she decides to take her own life. That night, she kept walking from side to side, wringing her hands and driving away thoughts of suicide. The girl wept and sobbed for a long time. I finally plucked up the courage to throw those pills in the trash. “I remember that very night I exclaimed: “God, save my life!”. I cried for a long time, until I finally fell asleep, ”recalls Julie.
But in the middle of the night Julie was awakened by a voice. That voice said, "Julie, I love you." He repeated this phrase louder and louder until the girl finally woke up: “Surprisingly, I was not even scared. On the contrary, I felt a special love - as if something hot filled my whole body. I thought: "Who can love me?"
Julie began to look for the source of this voice. She entered a local college where she met a Christian girl who invited Julie to a Bible study class.
“They talked about the love of God, and I thought that all this was said especially for me. I learned that you can receive this love if you are born again. I heard that I can start life anew, with a clean slate. And then I accepted Christ into my life.” - says the woman.
Julie began to grow in faith, and God began to deliver her from the hurts of the past and change her as a person: “He seemed to clean my soul and fill it with His love. He made me feel like a beautiful woman, just the way He made me. He gave me everything that was stolen from me.”
Julie got married and had four children. However, she knew that she still had to forgive her father, whom she had not seen for seventeen years. Finally Julie drove over to meet him.
She saw him and said, "Daddy, I want to say that I forgive you for everything." For the first time in her life, she saw him cry. He literally fell to the floor and burst into tears. Then he looked at her and asked: "How can you forgive me?" Julie replied, "Daddy, I can forgive you because God has forgiven me even more." Then she said goodbye and left, feeling that she was freed from a heavy burden.
Today, Julie is at peace in her soul because she knows Jesus Christ: “I have found someone who loves and understands me. I have found the One who has become my best Friend, who never leaves me and forgives me all my sins.”
If you have experienced violence and are tired of living with a feeling of uselessness and misunderstanding, contact our consultant, we want to help you find peace and joy, feel forgiveness and true love.
