Chris Bill got "hooked" on porn when he was a kid. Even after marriage he was still watching forbidden video and visiting chats. Pretty soon virtual "fellowship" was substituted with real encounters. After one of his lovers got pregnant, Chris confessed his numerous cases of adultery to Cindy. Has she been able to forgive him? Has Chris overcome his addiction? Find the answers in this video.
When Chris Bill confessed his secrets to his own wife Cindy, she experienced three shocks at once: her husband watched porn, cheated on her, and his mistress carried his child.
"That was thirty-two years ago... But even after all this time, I still remember it like it was yesterday," recalls Chris.
Chris was eight years old when he first saw a porn magazine: "There was a kid in our area whose brother worked at a gas station and brought home old magazines."
When Chris became a teenager, he started buying magazines by himself. This was the case until the end of college. And then the Internet came along, and that added fuel to the fire. Because now there was no need to go somewhere and burn with shame, buying a magazine in a store. And just like that, it grew into a complete addiction, with which he was unable to fight.
Chris met Cindy while attending Texas State College. “I don’t know if you can call it love at first sight, because we had already seen each other before. But when we first spent time together, I felt something,” admits Cindy.
The girl did not suspect about his secret passion. Chris and Cindy got married, but Chris's addiction only got worse.
"It got to the point where I watched pornography every day. Cindy didn't know that. Maybe she suspected something, feeling my inner struggle. But she didn't know everything," says Bill.
Chris was a music minister in his church and spent a lot of time alone in his office: “Most of the time he did it at work. So I didn’t know anything about it and didn’t suspect that everything was so bad,” continues Cindy.
"And then it went from just looking at images to chatting, and then to the unthinkable. I consciously, fully aware of what I was doing, met with one woman. I did not keep my oath. I broke my promise. - repents Bill "I just walked in the dark and hated myself. And when I went up on stage to lead Sunday morning worship, I felt like the greatest hypocrite and poseur."
Chris' pastor - Craig - suggested that he be open and have no secrets. “I was concerned with what he said, but I could not do it. I was completely different. But I tried. I tried to cope with it. And for six weeks I succeeded. But this was the limit, I could not do it anymore. The Holy Spirit seemed to put me in a corner and said: "We will deal with this issue."
Chris confessed everything to Cindy. "I cheated on you many times, with different women, in different places for about two to two and a half years." At first, she thought it was all some kind of stupid prank.
A huge mountain fell off Chris' shoulders: for the first time since he was eight years old, he had no secrets. And on the other hand, this burden has not disappeared anywhere, he just shifted it now to his wife.
“And the culmination of all this was his words: “One of my mistresses is pregnant, and I am sure that the father is me.” I thought that this would be the worst day of my life. But the next day was not better at all, and so it was every day. It was the worst time of my life," says Cindy.
"And I couldn't do anything to fix the situation. The first week we were just silent all the time, then we cried and talked. Cindy asked questions, and I answered them."
Chris apologized to Cindy, and Cindy didn't even know what to do or where to go. Chris told the council at his church what he had done. He lost his job, but the pastor did not lose faith in Chris.
"The pastor was going to tell the truth in our church. It made me petrify. Petrified. That day I learned what the Body of Christ is. The reaction of the people was unexpected. They enveloped us in true love. They loved us. I was so guilty towards them, and they loved me. And I realized that God had prepared something really great," Chris wonders.
But Cindy needed time to think and pray. She went home to her mother for a few weeks.
When Cindy arrived at her mother's, she said, "I made an appointment for you with Brother Dan, my pastor." “Oh my God, really? I'll have to meet another person who will tell me to be a good wife." But he said, “What you have gone through is difficult. No one will blame you if you break up." I said yes!" He continued, "But...". I thought: “But there is one “but”. "But," he continued, "if you stay with your husband, you can be a part of God's redemptive work in that person's life." And I thought, “Yes, I trust You, God, but I don't trust my husband anymore. After all, if he cheated once, he can always cheat again, and I'm not going to be a doormat. The whole world says I'll be a fool if I stay." And God asked me, “Do you believe me? Do you trust me? Do you believe me? And in the end, I said, “Yes, You have never let me down. I trust you". And at that moment, God's world just overwhelmed me, and I will never forget this feeling and the words: "I think we can do it."
"And before even Cindy said, 'I'll be faithful to this marriage,' I saw God put it on her heart. And it was a great day," Chris rejoices.
Chris and Cindy started all over again. Cindy completely forgave her husband, and their mutual trust began to grow. They have two sons. Chris' third son lives with his mother.
A couple of years later, Cindy was crying because she loved him like her own son. And today this child is not a reminder of sin. It is a reminder of God's redemption. He is one of the bright spots in this terrible story. As Scripture says, “To those who love God, who are called according to [His] purpose, everything works together for good.” It's all this little boy.
Chris and Cindy will say that their marriage is far from perfect, but it is still being built: "I believe that God can work miracles today. He still does them. And my marriage is just such a miracle."
“There is no hope of freedom, there is no hope of recovery until you start speaking the truth,” Chris assures. “God loves you more than anything. And in the midst of that love, have courage and faith in a good God and do whatever it takes to be free. Confess, bring it all out and spend the rest of your life just loving and being a part of God's story."
