He was carried away with pornography since childhood. Tim Allen couldn’t live without porn and prostitutes. He kept his journal on sexual adventures right in his home study, until his wife found them. Is it possible for a marriage to survive after numerous adulteries? Could Amy forgive Tim?
Tim Allen could not live without Internet pornography and prostitutes. And he kept notes about his sexual adventures right in his home office until his wife found them.
Looking through the documents of her husband Tim, Amy Allen found something that deeply hurt her soul: “There were several pages with the names of prostitutes, their details and coordinates. Next to some of the names were Tim's notes about what he did with them. I was shocked and said to myself: “That's it, I'm leaving. It is unbearable".
“When I got back, no one was home and Amy's engagement ring was on the shelf. I realized that it was all over, ”recalls Tim.
Finally, Tim's secret addiction to sex was discovered, and his marriage fell apart. And it all started in childhood: “I became interested in pornography at the age of nine, and maybe even earlier. My grandfather kept Playboy magazines. When I came to visit him, I always looked for them.”
Over the years, Tim became even more interested in pornography. But, even worse, after marrying Amy, he began to live out his sexual fantasies with other women: “I didn’t have enough porn magazines anymore. I wanted something new and interesting.”
Amy suspected that something was wrong in their relationship, but did not understand what exactly: “I felt that he did not want to be with me. I was like a burden to him.”
With the development of the Internet, Tim has completely lost control over his sexual desires. He began dating a woman he met online. One day, Amy found condoms in their shared bag: “I started a scandal, started yelling at him, calling him dirty names. At the same time, I asked: “What are you doing? Why are you like this?" That day, I packed my suitcases and took them to his office, and some to his car.”
“I was willing to sacrifice everything we worked so hard to have an affair with a girl I didn't even particularly like. However, I was connected with her by sex, and that was enough for me, ”Tim admits addiction to porn.
Yet Amy and Tim tried to save their marriage. Tim returned home, they began to go to church, but all Tim's thoughts were still about one thing - about sex: “There are so many advertisements for escort services and prostitutes on the Internet that you can always call to yourself. They offer me what I want for money, without demanding anything else.”
Tim scoured the streets, massage parlors and Internet sites in search of the next prostitute. And that's when Amy found his notes in her home office: “I wrote down the terrible details there, and Amy read it all. When she found them, she immediately packed her things and left.”
Amy went to her mother. There she began to go to church and accepted Christ as her Savior.
“I began to look at my husband with God's eyes and realized that we are all sinners,” says Amy.
Tim understood that his marriage had broken up, and he himself was at a crossroads. In desperation, he began to read Christian books about overcoming sex addiction: “I was raised in the church and thought that those books would help me understand myself. I knew that something was wrong with me. My life was falling apart when I thought it had a solid foundation.”
On the day of their eighth wedding anniversary, Amy called Tim. They both filed for divorce before. He is in Maryland and she is in San Diego. They already had nothing to lose, and therefore Tim and Amy talked very honestly and frankly about their true feelings.
“Amy said she still loved me and it hurt me to hear that. But at the same time, her words touched me. "How can she still love me?" Tim thought. “In addition, she read to me some scriptures about what sin is.”
Tim couldn't forget Amy's words. Finally, he turned to God for help: “I read about who Jesus is and what He did. In the end, I decided to believe that He is who He claims to be. In the basement of that house in Maryland, I burst into tears and said, “If You really are God (Pause), then help me. If You are God, then I need Your help.”
Tim began to go to church, met the pastor: “I confessed everything to him, because I felt that I could trust him. He, too, was frank with me, began to pray and support me as much as he could.”
Amy and Tim continued to call, and their faith grew. One day they decided to meet. Tim returned the ring to Amy and apologized. He said, "I've done unforgivable things, but now I'm following Jesus."
“I was afraid that everything would happen again, but I heard the voice of God as loudly as anyone else. My parents discouraged me. Tim's parents too. But I knew that God was telling me to return to my husband. I am so glad that I listened to His voice,” recalls Amy.
Now they love each other even more and have two daughters.
“We are growing spiritually, and the Lord continues to bring us even closer to each other. I don't understand how exactly this happens, but it's wonderful. This is only possible for God. We are together only because of Jesus,” says Tim.
“Patience is needed, as well as the ability to forgive again and again. We must love each other with unconditional love—God's love,” Amy concludes. p>
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